Thursday, December 9, 2010

Behind that charming grin, all tin men have hearts of gold.

This is going to be the worst weekend of my life.

Today I was walking on the high street with my girlfriends from class.  We had just grabbed a couple drinks at the Thomas Becket, and Rosie wanted us to go back to her place to continue the fun.  I would've gone, but I was so exhausted and I needed to do stuff back at the house.  I probably should've just gone, because getting on the bus to go back to campus was heartwrenching.  That was my first official goodbye of the next few days.  Just thinking about all the people that I may or may not ever see again is killing me.

I should've tried harder to stay for the year, but I guess in reality I wouldn't have been able to graduate on time.  It all looked like it was going to go through, and I wasn't telling some of my friends I was planning on it because I didn't want to jinx it, and it still didn't happen.  Such a bittersweet thing to go home to my family for Christmas and leave all these friends behind.

Every time I invest in something, I usually end up with the waxed end of the qtip.  That's probably why I'm a bitch to people; I don't really want to get close to them, and if they keep trying and convince me it's a good idea to let my guard down, I'm dumb enough to trust them.  Then right when you start to get comfortable, you get fucked in the ass.

There's a saying that goes something like, "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me."  I'm terrible at learning lessons.

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