When I was in college, high school, basically any time before graduation, and I said that I wanted to be an actress, I would always acknowledge that it would not be easy to do so. My teachers, friends, and family would also say that it was going to be a lot of hard work, and that it would test my patience. Now trust me, I really did know this. But now, I'm actually feeling it and coming face to face with the amount of work that goes into simply getting your face out there!
Boston has the resources I need to get out there, but because it's not overly flooded like New York, I really have to hunt for things. I've already spent hours on google trying to find open mics for comedy clubs, without many results. The comedy scene is actually a challenge to get into out here, let alone the acting scene.
My patience has always been a problem for me. It's one of the biggest things that God tests me on, makes me work on, and still I feel like my lack of patience has only changed with simpler things like everyday activities and the actions of my friends. Really, I still have almost zero. I want something, and I want it now, and then I rush into trying to get it without really going about it in a slow and well thought out way that would probably produce better results. It's like I'm hoping some kind of opportunity would just fall out of the sky and into my lap right when I want it to, so that I don't have to work for it!
The number one thing I REALLY have to change about myself, is my "I'll do it later" lack of motivation. It's a college student mentality, getting things done at the last minute and still getting by alright. This tactic can't work in the real world, and I'll tell you why: NO ONE WILL MAKE YOU DO IT! There are no grades, no teachers, no parents, nothing that will get you off your own ass except yourself! If I don't learn how to get into this business and learn who to talk to, where to go, when to do things, how to network, build relationships, market myself, then I will not get anywhere because no one else is going to make me.
Lazy days and fucking off are no longer really an option. I'm here, in the real world, I've been waiting to be here for four years so I could let go of the restrictions of school and homework and meaningless projects, and this is the time. It will take a while, and a few months from now I may cry into my pillow wondering why I don't have an agent or blah blah blah yet. But God is going to keep teaching me patience, and I will come out better for it in the end. I just have to keep working hard, as in not go home tonight and go to bed just because I had to get up early today; I should be going to this next open mic on my list, or at least making myself write another chapter in my book, researching how to get headshots printed out cheap, SO MANY THINGS that I could be doing.
Basic number one lesson of this blog: If you want something and if in ten years you don't have it you may just jump off a bridge because your life will be a failure? Then you should... GET OFF YOUR ASS!