Sunday, March 6, 2011

you're really gonna enjoy reading this one, lemme tell ya girl, just more material for you to go crazy over concerning the douchebag

Do you ever wake up and think, "Wait... did that... actually... happen?" and then you bust out laughing because yeah, IT DID.  I'm still tingling with joy over the ridiculousness of it all.  I'm still a firm believer in saying that women aren't born crazy, men engage in blatant douchebaggery and that makes women crazy.

I found out I have a stalker.  I mean, I could have more, who knows, maybe we all have them.  But last night in the best way possible I found out there is a girl out there who hates me enough to read my blog and make fun of me, and I've literally never even met her.  I hope you're reading this right now, because I just want you to know that I'm acknowledging your existence.

You have a VERY, I mean seriously screwed up "relationship".  You know it, I know it, and I'm so sorry that you allowed him to be comfortable enough to tell you whatever details he told you about me, and that you let it drive you crazy enough to start creeping on my blog to find out even more things about me.  I bet you're seething with anger over the fact that I slapped your boyfriend, and every word you read on my blog makes you crazy (or whatever he is, I mean I kind of hope he's not your boyfriend 'cause if he certainly treats you like a whore and you're not even aware of it).

And thank you for calling me out on my blog's existence and that I would "go pray about it".  I did pray about this last night, but mostly it was me saying, "Thanks God for confirming to me that he was in fact a douchebag"

and yes, I do know how to spell douchebag, and I will continue to spell it that way.  Here, click this link while you're at it.

Do you think I'm ashamed of anything I write on here?  Do you think that you taking a stab at me for my personal life hurts?  No, it just makes you look like a psycho considering I'm not even facebook friends with the guy that you're a psychopath over.  Let's just review here:  you're reading a stranger's blog, calling up a stranger and harassing them, and you're so desperate to one-up me that you allowed the idea of a sexual encounter be ok in your mind?  He's a creep for putting you in that situation and letting you get to that mental absurdity that he's so fantastic.  Maybe you should get tested, I wonder what kind of scummy girls he hangs out with when he's not with you.  WOW I feel sorry for you.

I literally went over there to smack him in the face; what were the chances that I would be across the street when he texted me out of the blue??  Amazing chances, that's what they were.  I gotta tell ya, if a guy ever does something absolutely out of line like that, and you're completely justified in being pissed off and offended, there's nothing better than feeling the pins and needles in the palm of your hand when you whack them upside the head.  I'm actually shocked in knowing of your existence, you really played the sneaky stalker part very well.  To know that you were a factor in that equation really put an interesting spin on things.

Now, I know you're going to read this and get all pissed off, and hate me even more than you already do, which is fine.  I just hope that eventually ('cause I know you probably woke up in his bed this morning and thought, 'how great am I to be here and not someone else in my place?')  you will realize that he probably doesn't place much value on you and doesn't really respect you a lot at all.  As another girl I'll tell you we've all been there, where we let some douchebag make us a complete mental case.

So yeah, I hope that sometime real soon you wake up thinking things like I thought when I woke up this morning, "I am beautiful, I have a lot to offer to a real loving passionate and monogamous relationship, and I deserve nothing less than someone who treats me like an absolute princess and I will treat him like my prince."  I don't care how corny that sounds, it's just clearly not where your head is at and I wish you would wake the fuck up.  Because you are better than that, and I bet when he's not driving you nuts, you are a great girl.

Just try not to go nuts and call strangers and stalk them online anymore.  It's not giving you a one-up on anyone, it just makes you look scary.

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