I'm continuing to be surprised by how happy people were to see me back this week, and how they asked how I've been and how my travels were. I guess I was so convinced that I wasn't missed that I made myself crazy over it. I'm starting to like being back, whereas two weeks ago I was somewhat dreading it. Although tonight we'll have to wait and see. But I missed the 26 story library, the gym with every machine I like, the crazy lady on the back of the bus, walking around downtown with the smell of Antonio's drifting through the cold winter air, and sitting at a kitchen table at AXO with a cup of coffee and a sister who wants to complain about boys. Ahhhh the college life I was used to.
Tonight is my birthday dinner/party. I usually invite a lot of people and hope that 25% of those people show up. I'm the girl that always wants to have a big party, and I know it's not a personal thing when some friends don't come, but I take it personally anyway. I'm just sensitive, I can't help that. From my perspective, if someone invites me to their birthday I think that a birthday is a day when you should go out of your way to give them a little cheer. Even if I'm not that close with someone, I usually bring them a card or something small, and they're sometimes surprised I went that far. I guess not everyone feels the same way that I do about birthdays, holidays, etc. So what can you do?
When I was in kindergarten I had a birthday party and invited everyone in my class. ONE. GIRL. CAME. From that moment my birthday has successfully found one reason or another to make me feel like the least popular person I know. I love parties, I love dressing up, getting excited, having food, being with friends, and I tend to feel pangs of rejection when others aren't just as excited as I am. Some of my friends think it's strange that I get more excited than they do about their birthdays! I think any reason to celebrate and make someone feel like they're special is something I really love.
I'm not sure where I was going with this. Maybe that I have mixed feelings about how tonight's going to go. My roommate asked me how many people were coming over tonight and I said I didn't want to talk about it. I'd rather pretend that everyone was coming, because by the time I realize that ten people are at my house out of the umpteen people I invited, I'll be too drunk to care.
This paper is started, but I'm aiming for 2,000 words at least by 4pm. Think I can do it? AH!