Wednesday, January 12, 2011

I KNOW I KNOW I should be doing my paper... geesh

I have a retarded amount of paper to write... 3,000 words and then another one is 4,000 words.  Why am I on the internet at all right now?  Oh, to tell about what I can't stop thinking...

Last night I watched this movie.  It was called "Catfish".  Watch it.  I couldn't stop laughing, and then I think I almost cried.  Both aspects are pretty good to have in a film, mostly because I hate a movie that only makes me cry.

Basically, it's about this attractive young photographer who works with his brother and friend in New York.  The brother and friend are filmmakers and documented Yaniv's relationship with someone he's never met.  Er.. rather, a few people he's never met.  If you like facebook, have ever had a long-distance relationship, or an online relationship, you'd like this movie.  Also, if you like mysteries with a funny twist, this one makes you curdle in your seat a little... but in a good way.

I don't like spoiling films for people that haven't seen them, but I do have to share what's been scrambling around in my brain all day.  I have never been against online dating, or getting to know someone that you've never met before you have to spend time with them in person.  BUT I will say this: I have met multiple people online and they are never the same in person.  Even someone that I met in person and then continued to form a long distance relationship with them after, there's just no way.  People have quirks, habits, ways they act with their friends and in front of you, and all of this can be warped on a webcam or on the telephone.  Most of it is your own view and how much you want them to be a certain way, and you get disappointed when you find out they're not.

I once met a guy who had hott pictures and sounded great on the phone, and then when I met him he was 5'8", and gave me that, "I'm actually a controlling asshole" vibe which you can't really get unless you spend time physically in front of them and getting to know them in person.  By the time I left him, I wanted to punch him in the face, when two days earlier I had butterflies speaking with him over the phone and gazing at his perfectly angled pictures, (in the end, they didn't really look that much like him... some people photograph differently than they actually look which warps opinions.)

A friend of mine got involved emotionally with more than one girl off of a website he used for online dating.  One girl was a compulsive liar and made up where she was even from, and the other girl was just plain strange and secretive.  I think some people get off on flirting and staying at an arms' length, which would probably be half the people that are online and "dating".  They don't care about actually meeting you, because half of the things they have told you may not even be true.  They just want to feel like someone want them for the parts of themselves that they like, because they may not have someone in their lives that currently want them for any of their traits... or maybe they're just bored.

This is why I'm all for actually meeting someone you meet online, and the sooner the better.  You could get emotionally attached to someone that doesn't even really exist!  Or worse, just attached to the parts you choose to see in that person, and you can't ignore the traits you don't like when you finally see them, which makes it even more emotionally disappointing when they are not what you thought they were.

While I watched "Catfish" I couldn't stop feeling bad for this young man who was probably falling in love and wanted everything he was told and was picturing about this girl.  I've been in the same boat... reality bites.  Facebook and all those other sites are good intros to meeting someone you may not have met otherwise, but I don't trust anything but real life instincts when it comes to dating someone.  This film just confirmed to me that meeting someone earlier rather than later in the game of getting to know them from the internet is absolutely vital.

(ps, Nev if you read this I'm in Massachusetts)

....bahaha I couldn't resist a shameless plug

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