I have a history of having dreams about people or events and then feeling as though it were God telling me something. Afterwards I'll wake up, have a sinking feeling in my stomach because I probably know exactly why I had that dream in the first place. I've also had many dreams that have taken place in another period of time, a huge reason why I'm a Christian, some people call it dejavous.
When a person is the subject of a dream I have, there aren't usually any special circumstances or a dialogue that happens between us. They're always just sort of... there. We're hanging out, or maybe I realize I haven't seen them in a while and we hug. I've had occurrences where I only see them standing there and smiling at me, but the smile always seems to be saying to me, "Hey, remember me? You forgot for a little, but I'm still around and we should catch up." And I wake up with a pangs of something, maybe nostalgia, guilt, or even just missing them a little.
I think it's a mix between my personal preference to avoid losing touch with my friends, like, ever. And I'm serious, because my longest friend is from kindergarten. I would hate to see her in ten years and say, "Oh we haven't even spoken during that period of time." This week I had a mixture of old friends and newerish friends with me on a mini vacation, and I couldn't have been happier. It just goes to show how truly amazing my friends are to mutually want to continue our friendship. But getting back to dreams...
The other night I dreamed that I was at my home church, Millbury Federated. I saw that the church choir was missing a member, and I wanted to be in it. They said, "Sure, Tuesday night we're just having a small audition process, you should totally come!" So while I'm thinking I have an "in", I show up and it's like frickin American Idol! Hundreds of people are lining up around the stairwells of the church waiting to try out for the church choir, including a large group of gospel singing high school students from a southern background. I felt horrible, like I couldn't ever do it, like I sucked and didn't have a chance. There were too many others there, and I would never be in that choir. I tried practicing songs, and I forgot all of the words. They kept telling me I was next in line, but people kept cutting me and trying out before I even had a chance. The judges were going to sit near the altar, and our audition was up in the balcony, which makes perfect sense right?! This dream was absolutely ridiculous.
Suddenly, I remembered all the words to a worship song that I love to sing because it's beautiful and says all the things I wish I could've thought up to say. Right when I was feeling confident, I woke up. Maybe that was God's way of saying, "Hey, you're gonna be ok you just have to trust Me and yourself." Geez, I hope so.