Lately, and I've noticed this happen in the past, but I've been waking up, walking around, and falling asleep with a random Christian worship song stuck in my head. For example: wake up with "Who Am I?", walk around with "He Knows My Name" and then fall asleep with "Amazing Love". All of which are songs that I roughly know the words to, at least enough to sing to myself during my daily hum drum.
But this got me thinking when I was singing some little words to myself: how much of these words do I sing every week in church during worship, and I actually mean them? Of course all us Christians can mean the parts about, "God, you're amazing, indescribable, blah blah blah" but what else are we singing?
Do we belt out these melodies and really think to ourselves, "He really is watching me and with me all the time... He's in control and I shouldn't be such a worry wart." Faith can be a touchy thing. Sometimes it's a little tough to believe that God' always on your side, especially when He teaches you hard lessons or you're going through a rough patch.
And when we exclaim things about our own selves, what are we really saying? Do we mean everything we proclaim to be about ourselves and our relationship with God? I was thinking about these lyrics to "Amazing Love" specifically, because of one very important line:
Amazing love, how can it be?
That You my King would die for me?
Amazing love, I know it's true
And it's my joy to honor You
In all I do, I honor You.
I know for a fact that it's not always a joy for me to try and honor whatever God may be pushing me to do or say or whatever you could refer to. And I also know that in all I do, I mostly don't honor God. In fact, there are still parts of my life and behavior that I cling on to for dear life before really giving them over to God and honoring His plan and protection. I guess this is true for every Christian, person, whomever, because we all have our flaws and vices. It's a part of life to learn what those are and to try and better yourself as you mature. Slowly but surely I hope to let go and really mean what I say when I sing and worship God, but for now I'm still questioning how it can really be worship when I don't always mean what I say?