Sunday, March 25, 2012

I think I might be psychic, or at least deja-vu is ruining my life.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D%C3%A9j%C3%A0_vu

I'm not certain that the link will work, but I wikied deja-vu and it's pretty interesting to read about.  My whole life has had moments like this, where I dream something very detailed, or even just a brief moment, and then it happens.  Sometimes days, weeks, or even years later.  I forget if I had posted about a dream I had when I was a very young kid and how it influenced my becoming a Christian, but this post is more specifically about...

THE DENTIST.

I've only ever had one dentist, because I have terrible fears concerning my teeth.  If my dentist ever retires, I will either let my teeth rot out of my head or just kill myself.  Because I would rather have to eat mashed potatoes for the rest of my life then trust some other psychopath to stick sharp metal tools into my face and tell awful jokes like, "the good news is, this will hurt you more than it'll hurt me."

The week before last, I had this very vivid dream about my teeth.  I've had many dreams where my jaw gets stuck in an awful wide open dead person rigamortis position, or it's wired shut and I can't open it, or all of my teeth fall out.  This dream that I had recently however, was far worse.  I was sitting with my boyfriend, and I was grinding my teeth, when all of them crumbled like rocks and pebbles in my mouth, and all I had left was awful silver broken stubs.  I woke up sweating, thinking about it all day, worried that I would never eat anything solid ever again.  My dinner was mashed potatoes that night just to keep myself calm.

During my wonderful vacation with said boyfriend after we fast forward to last week, we were driving around at ten o'clock at night, doing a junkfood run in the middle of nowhere.  He bought me a delicious ice cream cookie sandwich, to which I happily bit into. 
Suddenly, the worst possible thing that could possibly happen, well it happened.
MY TOOTH CRUMPLED IN MY MOUTH!!

Tears running down my face.
Body shaking.
Pieces of my tooth floating around in bits of chocolate chip cookie and ice cream.
Boyfriend panicking because I can't tell him what's wrong, as I have yet to open my mouth to see the horrorific after effects of my mouth falling apart.

There was nothing I could do but cry... and then maybe call my mom because that was the first thing Will suggested we do.  What a good boyfriend.  He knows me too well.

 Two days later I'm sitting in the chair at the dentist's office, hoping it's not as bad as I think.  When I looked in the mirror, half of my incisor was just gone.  It was brown and rotted on the inside, like when you crack open an egg and think everything on the inside is great but soon as it's in the bowl it's green and stinky and your pancake mix is ruined.  My mouth looked like those posters at the office next to my chair, where someone with mouth cancer has teeth brown and half gone, and the tagline says:  DON'T SMOKE - take care of your teeth or you'll look like this guy and you'll have to get dentures, trust us it's no fun.

Dr. Bob asks if he can look at the tooth, and he gasps I said,
"I know, it was horrifying"   he said,
"sweetie, that is worse than horrifying... be right back" and he leaves the room.  I'm left alone, panicking and waiting for my impending doom asking myself,
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE WORSE THAN HORRIFYING?!
He may as well have said,
"your jaw is going to fall off... sit tight kiddo"

Turns out, it was the same tooth that I had a root canal on three years ago and I never got the crown.  I also no longer have dental insurance.  1200 dollars later, my savings account is crying, and I really wish I had Mass Health.  I was saving for something, saving to pay off some of my smaller loans, saving to eventually get a vespa or a motorbike or something vehicle-like that wouldn't eat at my wallet with all these gas prices rising.

Maybe I'd consider being a stripper if I wasn't such a terrible dancer, and I didn't already have a college degree...
Maybe I can hone in on these psychic skills of mine, read one of those "how to find your chakra" books and scam people like that chick on Main st in Hyannis who tried to sell me a happiness crystal for 200 bucks. (which she probably made herself out of superglue and some Claire's accessories)
Or... a psychic stripper... hmm that's new and innovative.

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