Friday, April 15, 2011

My stomach grumbles while my mind tumbles.

As most of you know, I am currently fasting.  You may also know that I am fasting due to the Republican proposed budget cuts and how upset I am about the potential cut of Planned Parenthood, after school programs, senior programs, Medicare, and Medicaid.  I know that cuts have to be made, and I'm aware that some of these programs aren't perfect the way that they are, but giving a tax BREAK to billion dollar corporations and making a CUT on women that can't afford basic OBGYN care is just awful. 

My friend Ashley wrote an article for the Collegian on this whole thing, and she is joining me in this fast.  There are so many people in on this.

It's day 3, and I wake up hungry, have a day-long lull, maybe get a bit hungry around suppertime, and then get hungry before bed.  But honestly, it's dealable.  You get this weird high when you are telling your body not to feel the way it feels.  Most of the fast and the fight to keep fasting is all a mental game.  Every time I hunger or crave something, I pray about it.  That's part of the fast, is to pray for those less fortunate that are being affected by this cause.

I think that fasting has actually been a big help to clear my mind.  My anxiety has been almost non-existent the past few days, and it's a wonderful to feel such a release.  I think God is really blessing this fast and the line of thought that there are people out there who need help and aren't being helped by cutting a budget on the needy.  I feel as though God is holding my hand through this, because I'm not miserable about giving up food whatsoever.  I'm joyful to be able to have my part in something bigger and better than myself.  I fully plan on keeping up with surviving on caffeine, juice, and a prayer thru next weekend.

The one other thing is that I still haven't been able to ultimately decide between Boston and New York.  I know Boston is safe; it has my friends, family, an apartment and job opportunity, and a not-so-time-consuming internship that will still benefit me to learn about the business.  New York is taking a risk; staying with family and depending on that for the entire summer, while working my ass off as if it were a full-time job that I have to do for free.  I hate not working, but this would jumpstart connections to getting a career. 

I'm told that by fasting God helps you make decisions.  He helps you gain clarity and to grow closer to Him.  I think I need that now more than ever, as I make a huge transition in my life.  Please pray for me during this that God will speak to me, and pray that the vulnerable poverty-level and elderly American citizens will stop getting stepped on by the GOP.  God is love, not neglect.

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