Recently I have been thinking a lot about how one progresses from the lower status in this business to the upper crusty part. You know, how do people get from community theater in the middle of Nowheres-ville and then they're in an Oscar-worthy film that made millions in the box office? Thank God that I've gotten so many connections this year on at least the semi-professional level or full-time actors in the area that can give me some advice. Yes, I will admit it can be discouraging when you have no SAG waivers and no clue how to get Equity points in this small town, but it seems almost useless to go to the big city without at least a few of each so you don't look like you don't know what you're doing on paper in a place where noone's ever heard of you. I am slowly trudging up the hill to at least get a foothold around this town, and I'm not stopping until I can get into some sort of union. Union means India Pearl will be on the road to the big city, and with a lot of work experience to boot so I won't be some young dreamer without any training who thinks they're going to be rich if they simply move to Hollywood. I won't move right now, because I don't think God quite has me on that path yet. He's given me plenty of opportunity here and I'm not starving so why not stay where I'm happy at least until I start to look older than 16 in front of a camera.
I tell strangers or even family members that I'm an actress, (and a
full-time working actress who doesn't do much else) they seem
surprised. There's this look they give you that's sort of mixed
up between pity, scoff, and awe. It's as though they think they know
why they should "feel bad" for you and then they feel obligated to
remind you that it's a hard field and all that repeated bullcrap, but
they don't want to be rude so they say in a nicer way, "oh, that must be
tough! Lot of rejection in that field..." like they're saying
anything that's news to you. Sometimes they'll try to think of some
second-cousin's-daughter-in-law that's an actress in New York and name
some play they were in that you've never heard of, maybe for comfort
that they know someone who sort of made it? Although I suppose it's
very common to do that in a conversation to name someone else who has
the same line of work and the person you're conversing with. But really
the only response to that bit of small talk two cents is, "Oooo0o0o0o,
ok... yeah that's cool." and hope you both think of something else to
add before there's a dead silence.
The other thing I hate is when I say to them I'm an actor and they interrupt me with an I know more than you do grin and they say, "You mean actress?" NO
I don't mean actress, this is 2012 and I will use whichever feminine or
masculine noun I prefer you sexist old fashioned numbskull because I'm
an artist and I would obviously know more about what I'm calling myself
in my own field thank you very much. Or here's the question I can't
stand getting, "Are you a good actress?" What the heck am I supposed
to say to that?! I mean I'm getting work, and constant steady work at
that, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm soon to be up for a
Tony. Maybe I should ask people that in the future, because they ask me
that abut my music too I always get someone who wonders if I can
actually play guitar or sing, as if I'm a hack with a Youtube channel
and pretends like most people and they can't wait to oust me to the rest
of the world as such. I'll look at them and say, "Are you a good
dentist? I've heard filling are really tough to do, patients are real
hard to come by." or "Are you good at putting out fires, 'cause I know a
lot of firemen who just don't know how to hose it down. You sure
you're not just rescuing cats out of trees?"
get it, people don't know they're being rude. It's also very easy to
get defensive over your abilities and work ethic as an artist, because
your work is your whole life. So I decided to look up some quotes from
other female actors that I really look up to due to their
impact on Hollywood, and their sheer talent. Everybody needs some sort
of inspiration, and when you're feeling like the world is just a tough
place and work is hard to come by, it's good to know that these women
often felt the same.
A career is wonderful, but you can't curl up with it on a cold night.
Acting is the perfect idiot's profession.
If only those who dream about Hollywood knew how difficult it all is. - Greta Garbo
Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul.
they're not all a hundred percent understandable if you don't do what I
do, or if you don't watch their movies and feel like you have some sort
of secret connection to them when you read anything they say that's just
plain real and not written down in a script. But I like them. And the
little sense that they give me still motivates me to keep at it. Any
time I think about what my life could be like if I gave up, my happiness
would count more in the end. And that's what truly matters.