50th post

This weekend a lot of stuff happened.  I felt mad, ditched, and unappreciated for different reasons and by different people.  But I also felt achieved, loved, and helpful to others for a few different reasons and different people as well.  Let me rant first and then I'll gloat.

Here's a tip to any male readers that are thinking of me in any romantic or inappropriate capacity:  if you want anything from me, you will not even get a hint of the color of my panties unless you also want to know what my favorite color is.  Or my favorite food, what I like to do in my free time, what my hobbies are, what makes me laugh, annoyed, sad, mad, or anything related to the above.  I'm a girl who's all the over the place with my likes, dislikes, emotions and creativity.  I do a lot of things, I like to be busy, and I'm a giant ball of energy that's going to be in your face and never misses a beat, especially if it's a beat of bullshit waiting to be called out. 

Long story short:  a date.  Girls want dates.  It has nothing to do with money.  It has nothing to do with being spoiled.  It has to do with the fact that two people who are interested in each other should get to know each other on an intellectual level of intimacy before getting intimate, *ahem* on other levels.   If a guy makes an effort to show that he has respect for a woman that he admires, then he gains her respect in return.  By hanging out with a female before 10pm in public, you are saying that you are proud to be with this girl for all the world to see that you have positive intentions.  And a date does not mean girlfriend, it just means you're being a decent human being by getting to know someone and going about it in the proper order.  I went to college, and hookups and backwards "relationships" that are nothing like having an honest and real connection with someone, are just not my thing anymore.  Pretty sure I quit my sorority days of making myself a little too available.  The next guy that says to me, "Hey come over to my place" I just want to punch you in the dick.

I guess it would be mildly appropriate that this 50th post is a post of a new beginning.  I post a lot of those.  I usually say, "This time I'm serious" or "I really mean this this time."  But what are you gonna do, right?  You live and you learn to make the same stupid mistakes over and over again until your head hurts to much to get back up and make the mistake again.  Your tears dry up and you just can't even cry anymore over the things you used to cry over, even though you really want to and maybe being sad was a comfort of familiarity.  Being happy is almost too foreign to enjoy.  Something is bound to go wrong when you're this happy.  Then somehow you're right.  But that's the lesson of stupidity.  Hit yourself in the head with a rock enough times and thinking that the rock will squeeze out water is just giving you a headache.  (I'm not always good with metaphoric rants at 2am)

OK done with this subject.  I'm moving forward with myself and I refuse to get into the nasty habit of dwelling anymore.  IN OTHER NEWS I ran a 5k this weekend.  There is nothing better than doing something you thought you could never do, and actually succeeding without fucking up.  The first mile, I was basically pulling The Tortoise and The Hare routine.  I started off much slower than most people around me, but ended up passing them by maintaining the speed and then ran the first mile in under eleven minutes, and ended up power walking a lot of the second mile, but then started running again in the third.  I could barely believe it!! 

I was convinced I was in terrible shape, and there I was doing something to prove that I had it in me.  As I'm jogging along and squeezing my side to hold in a cramp, I thought, "It's just you and me, God.  We doin this thing?  For everyone else who's running and for the homeless coalition, it's just you and me keeping this pace."  An older gentlemen came up alongside me as we had been passing each other a good deal of the second mile, and he says, "Come on now, you have to beat ME!" We finished together, as I decided we were in the same team of attempting to not puke or lose a lung.  (It wasn't that bad...)

Running has always been something I thought, "I can't do that.  I'll never have the stamina or lung power to run."  Guess what?  I proved myself wrong.  Maybe I'll keep doing more of these.  Maybe I'll even keep running as something I do on a regular basis instead of the elyptical. 

Crazy times for Miss India Pearl changing herself in a lot of ways this past year.  We're all here to find happiness whilst running along the road of life, right?  Is that the finish line?  Well I'm getting there, no matter how many times I fall on the pavement on the way.