tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189894064892285198.post7343384943051745113..comments2014-11-21T01:34:51.895-08:00Comments on tactless truths of my crazy life.: you can lead a horse to water but you have to make sure they're not going to drown themselvesIndia Pearlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00679729584470769059noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189894064892285198.post-32245323513166013942012-05-15T08:42:27.137-07:002012-05-15T08:42:27.137-07:00Tough spot. I've been in the same place with ...Tough spot. I've been in the same place with another person very close to me, my sister. Didn't know what on earth to do. Eating became a power struggle with our mother. In retrospect how the heck as her caring brother could I have seen that, did anything about it when neither of us at that point knew the meaning to the starving.<br />At the time, as you said, I could not start eating. You already know you can't. You can be there when they pass out and tell them before hand they are footing the bill at the hospital. Maybe it doesn't have to be that hard, but its a learning process in the end, not accepting control.<br />Call up if you want to talk about it.cmbassetthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00203910446736545424noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189894064892285198.post-5696113899921771602012-05-15T06:06:14.281-07:002012-05-15T06:06:14.281-07:00I have been reading your blogs for a while and thi...I have been reading your blogs for a while and this is defiantly a tricky one. I like to help people the same way you described yourself doing it. I like to try to give a little input if i can to help or maybe make them see the situation differently or more easy. But then there are times where something comes up where you feel it’s a little out of your league. You feel like you helped this person so much but this one topic you kind of just draw a blank on how to help. Well this has happened to me a couple times and the first time I was tearing myself up trying to find a way to help my best friend that found out that his grandmother was only going to be living for days. She went to the doctors and found out she was very ill … I guess you know where I am going with this. Anyway this was a total shock to my friend, as well as myself. <br />I have been very close to my friends family for many years and when I heard about his grandmother I didn’t hear it from him. I heard it from his sister so it made it even harder on me. I didn’t want to just blurt it out and ask him how he is feeling. I know that would just make him not want to talk about it, and possibly just piss him off and make him feel like I was trying to push myself in to try and save the day. <br />So i decided to just wait it out. I knew he would talk eventually but I just had to figure out how to get him to that point. So I took him out and never said a word of it, and didn’t treat him any differently. (Looking back I think that is what helped the most. Being treated normal not catered to because something is wrong in your life) Then we were driving back from a game of pool and he said he had something to tell me. I said sure whenever you’re ready. Right then and there he lost it and just emotionally collapsed. Everything came out. We both cried, laughed, remembered the good times, hugged and got back in the car. <br />Being in his same situation a few years earlier, a little different but relatively the same, I gave him some advice to let it out. Let out all his feelings, I let him know that I was that person he could do it with. Because I was in the same situation years earlier and tried to bury everything down deep. It all turned into anger and abuse. Self-abuse and drinking, He is the one who actually helped me out of that so it was defiantly a real good feeling when I could help him back the way he helped me. <br />As for part two, if I am reading it correctly it seems that you spent a lot of time trying to help someone that was in a very deep need for help. But when It comes down to it they are not helping themselves. I had who was the same way. I spent a lot of time, and I mean a lot of time being with this person trying to help them in any way possible. I would set thing up for them to try and get them help on their own and they would go to it. So I eventually got frustrated enough to the point where I just stopped. I stopped helping and I told him when I was asked that I was done helping you just “stay afloat” Its time for you decide wither you sink or swim.weaselhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04698021459960018845noreply@blogger.com